Better Counselor

John 14

Archive for the month “January, 2014”

College Kids and Outsiders

There was a reason I began this post in September of last year and didn’t finish it.

I was afraid.

I didn’t know how it would go. I had felt God prompting me to get involved with the local college in my area when I first moved to this town. I wanted to go prayer walk on campus when I was bored. I just never did. Then we got to play soccer there and meet some of the folks who frequent it’s paths. Then we went to a student experimental theater production about what it means to be human that was really well done but ended in meaninglessness. Then a student committed suicide. And I know I was being disobedient out of fear.

Fear that I wasn’t really supposed to be involved. Fear of rejection. Fear of suspicion of wrong motives; what’s this outsider doing on our campus? Fear of failing. Fear of being ineffective. Fear of butting in. Fear of wanting to do something out of pride or self-improvement – not out of love. Fear of partnering with a certain ministry I wasn’t sure I liked.

I e-mailed the ministry leader. We’re good friends now – our whole families. I wasn’t sure how I should be involved, so we decided I should try coming to the weekly meetings. We went early and prayed – it was an awesome time of prayer – and I left the first meeting having started some relationships and feeling used by God. The second meeting started the same way… but in the time of activity transition I got lost in the flow and ended up going home, confused and dejected. I had asked God to use me. I had the right motives. The Spirit was working. What was going on?

I didn’t have faith. I went back, but this time I decided I was going to act on the truth that God would be at work, He would move with power, and I would be a part of it. God was at work whether I was there or not, whether I believed or not. I had to have faith that this was where God wanted me to be, and I would be there whether I felt awkward, out of place, intrusive, judged, or not. It’s always hard to break into an established community when you don’t fit the bill of what a community member should look like. But when God has called you to do something, you’d better do it, and you’d better believe He wants you there and He’ll use you.

This semester, I’ve already had two amazing conversations and God willing, will be leading a Bible Study called Life to the Full. May God bring those He wants on this journey and continue to give me the faith and courage to do what He has prompted me by His Spirit to do.

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Elusive Calling

Ah, I didn’t do one of these in December. Not because I didn’t have stories…

I’m not very good at praying. For some reason, it is hard for me to focus my mind on an abstract list; I need to visualize it. So my mother was gracious and got me two journal books to write my prayers in. These help a LOT, and it is exciting to see God answer prayer in as little as two days! I’ve come to expect it now; that faith works. 

But what about those longer-term projects, like the salvation of a loved one, or a new job? Ones that seem to take days and years? Those answers come too. On 12/13/13, I finally got a clear word on my calling. 

I’ve been bashed over the head with that idea – calling – for seven years. I took a lot of tests, wrote a lot of papers and had a lot of conversations. I read books, studied Scripture, and took courses. I love so many things and could pursue so many avenues; how was I to know which to take? But since this fall, I’ve been learning who the Holy Spirit is and how to allow him to take control in my life; how to listen and follow. Adding a dose of an all-powerful spiritual being is such a change from trying to figure things out through reason alone. But that’s what happens when you have a relationship with the Creator and King of the Universe who loves you desperately. He wants what is best for you and takes the time to show you – even if you have to learn some lessons along the way. 

So I bet you’re wondering what I figured out, and I won’t leave you in the dark. I’m not 100% nailed down, and I don’t think I ever will be, BUT. God is taking all my tangential interests, passions, skills and talents and forming them into two over-arching goals. Church unity; restoring broken relationships; truth about God, food, health, history, anything; communicating through things like word, film, web, art; they all fall under the umbrella of Restoration and Relationship. These are huge tasks, not something someone like me could handle. That’s why God desires to fill us with His Spirit – to empower us to do His work here on earth. 

I am more at peace now, even if I’m not sure what to do next; schooling, stay here, get a job anywhere else, wait for Peter, etc… I know God is calling me to restoration and relationship, and I can do these wherever I’m at. And He will do it through me. 

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