Better Counselor

John 14

Archive for the tag “truth”


I had a baby.

Last October.

Being pregnant is not an excuse not to write, but I putzed around on things, feeling very much like everything was coming to an end – but also that there would be new beginnings. Boy was I in for a shock. I had studied up for and was ‘prepared’ for marriage – it was a deliberate decision. But this baby came out of left field, and for me, pregnancy was a lot easier than having the full responsibility of caring for this beautiful, confusing little person.

I wanted to follow God and do whatever He wanted me to do. Oceans by Hillsong became my song:

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”

Except in laying down everything I am and do and making my life a total sacrifice for someone else. Huh. That sounds like what Jesus was called to do. The person I’m trying to be like.

But I’ve been viewing it as a stereotype: Motherhood. Stay-at-home-mommy. Something you do only when you can’t succeed at something else. “If you can’t do it, you teach it.” My mom was a great home educator – I always say she could have given me an equivalent college education without the $30,000 debt but with a job at the end. But that seemed to be her take on things, and it’s been mine too.

“How can you know God through your job right now?” I was recently challenged. So I think I’ll work on embracing the rest of this song:

“Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine”


Elusive Calling

Ah, I didn’t do one of these in December. Not because I didn’t have stories…

I’m not very good at praying. For some reason, it is hard for me to focus my mind on an abstract list; I need to visualize it. So my mother was gracious and got me two journal books to write my prayers in. These help a LOT, and it is exciting to see God answer prayer in as little as two days! I’ve come to expect it now; that faith works. 

But what about those longer-term projects, like the salvation of a loved one, or a new job? Ones that seem to take days and years? Those answers come too. On 12/13/13, I finally got a clear word on my calling. 

I’ve been bashed over the head with that idea – calling – for seven years. I took a lot of tests, wrote a lot of papers and had a lot of conversations. I read books, studied Scripture, and took courses. I love so many things and could pursue so many avenues; how was I to know which to take? But since this fall, I’ve been learning who the Holy Spirit is and how to allow him to take control in my life; how to listen and follow. Adding a dose of an all-powerful spiritual being is such a change from trying to figure things out through reason alone. But that’s what happens when you have a relationship with the Creator and King of the Universe who loves you desperately. He wants what is best for you and takes the time to show you – even if you have to learn some lessons along the way. 

So I bet you’re wondering what I figured out, and I won’t leave you in the dark. I’m not 100% nailed down, and I don’t think I ever will be, BUT. God is taking all my tangential interests, passions, skills and talents and forming them into two over-arching goals. Church unity; restoring broken relationships; truth about God, food, health, history, anything; communicating through things like word, film, web, art; they all fall under the umbrella of Restoration and Relationship. These are huge tasks, not something someone like me could handle. That’s why God desires to fill us with His Spirit – to empower us to do His work here on earth. 

I am more at peace now, even if I’m not sure what to do next; schooling, stay here, get a job anywhere else, wait for Peter, etc… I know God is calling me to restoration and relationship, and I can do these wherever I’m at. And He will do it through me. 

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